A little Christmas "Cheer"

Golly gee, I love people on the road during the holidays.  They are all so thoughtful and....

UGH!

Story #1:
This happened on Monday.
I had to go to the post office to mail a package.  A woman pulls in just ahead of me.  And Stops.  She just stops her car in the very centre of the entrance so that no cars can get in or out.  I rolled my eyes. 
Then she got out of her car.  Awesome!!  Hey lady?  You do know that you're not in a parking space and are preventing the flow of traffic, right?  She jets over to the mailbox and dumps some things in.  I figure she's only going to be a second, so I bite my lip and refrain from laying on the horn. 
She gets in her car and moves up.  I pull in and pull slightly to the right to the parking spot that was Right! There! It was a great spot. 
As she's whipping around the leave, she turns and fixes me with this awful Death Glare and.... wait for it.... flips me the bird!!!
Because... I actually have no idea.
I hope flipping off some random stranger in the parking lot gave her the inner peace and Christmas joy she was apparently looking for.
Merry Christmas, lady.

Story #2:
This happened yesterday afternoon.
I was waiting to make a left-turn.  Traffic was moving slowly as it almost always does at this intersection, regardless of the time of year.  Right on my bumper was a great big pickup truck.  All of a sudden, an opening approached for my left turn.  But I had to wait for a big yellow school bus to go through the intersection.  He was barrelling down much faster than the speed limit. 
The driver behind me suddenly laid on his horn and gestured for me to turn.
Please note:  Big yellow school bus. 
I drive a little car.
He was in a big car.
There was no way he did not see the school bus.
The light turned yellow.  I did not turn.  I looked at the distance from the bus to the lights and I knew he wasn't going to stop.  Sure enough, the bus driver gassed it and ran the yellow.  I turned as soon as he was clear.
The driver pulled up beside me and started screaming obscenities.
Merry Christmas, buddy.
Sorry I didn't let myself get t-boned by a bus driver.  I'd rather make it home safely to my daughter.
Happy New Year, too.

Story #3:
Last night.
What is with the crazies on the road???
I'm driving down a dark hill.  There is traffic.  The guy two cars in front of me is missing a headlight and is driving about 5km under the speed limit, as there are many deer in the area.  I keep a comfortable stopping distance.  I rear-ended someone once on this stretch of road and don't wish to repeat the experience.
The guy behind me is so close on my bumper, I can practically see up his nose in my rear-view mirror.  He starts flashing his high beams at me.  Because.... I can go where, exactly?
The guy two cars up randomly brakes a bit.  Possibly because the guy in front of me (behind him) is also following a little too close.  So I brake.  So buddy behind me lays on his horn.  Hard.
Merry Christmas, buddy.  Sorry I didn't play bumper cars with the guy in front of me for your convenience. 
When we got to the bottom of the hill, the guy two cars up turned into a little mechanic shop.  Glad he made it there safely.  

So to all you drivers out there, stay safe.  Be courteous.
And have a happy Christmas.

Formula for a Fender Bender

Today, this one was mine.

Drive in the rain with bad tires.  Begin to slow down as you approach the lights.  Realize your car is losing traction and you aren't slowing.  Slam on the brakes in panic so the brakes lock up.  Once the brakes lock up, you can now no longer steer your car.  Watch in horror and panic as the rear bumper of the car in front of you approaches.

Thank God you are now only travelling 5km/h.

If you must do this, be sure to hit a very kind old man who will look at his rear bumper, declare there to be no damage, express his concern for your wellbeing, be generally very kind to you, and send you on your way after stating there to be no need to collect insurance information.

Get back in your car, cry a little, and pray that man has his kindness returned to him tenfold.

Be eternally grateful that both you and your small child are okay.

An Open Letter to a Moron in a Parking Lot

Dear Sir,

I apologize for honking my horn at you.  Clearly it ruined your day.  However, I would like to take a moment to explain my reason to you.  You see, you were backing out of a parking spot into oncoming traffic.  I was that oncoming traffic and you might have hit me had I not stopped.

My act of stopping while you continued your foolish act of backing up into oncoming traffic was not permission for you to continue being stupid, but was instead an act of self-preservation.  The honking of my car horn was merely to inform you that there were cars behind you and you ought to have waited before backing up.

Getting out of your car in all of a huff to demand what the [redacted] was my problem was absolutely unnecessary.  To put it succintly, my problem was you and the fact that you ought not to have backed into oncoming traffic - namely, me!

I am not sure what you thought you might accomplish by screaming obscenities at a young mother with a baby in the car.  Did you expect me to get out of my car?  I'm not that foolish.  You, however, are a great big meanie.

I hope the rest of your day was better.

Sincerely,
A Polite Driver Who Only Uses Her Horn For Self-Preservation

P.S. Thank you, Mr. Big Intimidating Guy for walking toward us.  You didn't even have to open your mouth.  The mere two or three steps you took in our direction promptly ended the "confrontation".

69-53

69-53.  That was the total score.

A few weeks ago, I was coming along the highway with my mother (she was driving), and I took notice of the number of cars who failed to signal before changing lanes (including getting on and off the highway).

At first, it seemed like more cars were NOT signalling than WERE signalling, so I began to do a tally.  Much to my surprise, the signalling cars were leading.  More cars signalled than not along the busy main highway.  I believe when we exited to the 2-lane parkway, the tally was something like 37-42.  42 cars used their signals to indicate a lane change, 37 did not.

The two parkways we drove along are a total of approximately 19km and take roughly 15 minutes to drive from start to finish.  In that short distance, the tally changed dramatically.  I witnessed a total of 43 lane changes, of which only 11 were signalled.  That means any given driver was supposed to read another driver's mind roughly 32 times.

How does that work, I wonder?

Now, this tally does include entrances and exits off the highway.  However, I noticed that those were where most of the signalling took place.  It was the lane changes that were not signalled.

I think I understand the motivation.  After all, if you signal that you need to switch into my lane, I might be a jerk and not let you.  However, if you're not being a jerk and there is plenty of room for you to get in front of me, you don't need to worry about that. 

Last time I checked, the human race had not yet perfected their telepathy.  Until we do, let's play nice and use our signals.  It's a flick of a finger... and no, not that one!

How to parallel park

I was going to write about speed limits this morning.  More specifically, I was going to rant a little about people who drive under the speed limit.  I'll save that for another time.

On my way home from dropping my husband off at work, I passed (luckily there was no oncoming traffic) the most amazing parking job.  So I just have to return to my previous comments on parking.

Let's talk about parallel parking.  Please see figure A to the right.  The vehicle is parked by the sidewalk, ideally 6-8" from the curb.  There is room to move around the vehicle.  The vehicle is not blocking traffic, nor is it on the sidewalk.

Now, please understand, I get that parallel parking is a difficult art to perfect.  I'm not here to criticize you if you're on a tiny bit of an angle or if you're not perfectly 6-8" from the curb.  You do get points for trying.  But the thing is, you actually have to try.

Please see figure B to the left. 

THAT DOESN'T COUNT AS TRYING!  Neither does it count as parallel parking.  That counts as being a jerk.  The only time you get to park like that is if you are a police officer and you are blocking road access on purpose for the safety of all involved.

As a side note, the street where this had occurred was not quite as tidy as the street in the diagram.  It was a little more narrow, a mere 3 car widths.  Just wide enough for one car driving in either direction, with room for parking on one side of the street only.  So I had to pass fully onto the left side of the street to get around Jerkcar.

Parking ticket?  Of course not.

Let's play a game

Here's a fun game.  It's called "That's Not A Parking Spot!"  This game consists of spotting people who are parked in places that are Not A Parking Spot!

On the surface, this may seem like a fairly hypocritical post, especially if you know me.  I have gotten my abundant share of parking tickets.  If it is possible to get a parking ticket, I'll probably be the one to get it (usually, however, the tickets involve expired meters).  Generally, I'm actually fairly forgiving and not overly judgey of people who are improperly parked.  Sometimes, you just don't see the sign, or you park on the wrong side of the sign.  I get that!

My beef is with people who park like jerks, deliberately getting in the way of traffic and severely inconveniencing other people trying to park. For example, people who are not disabled who park in the disabled parking zone,  people who take up multiple parking spots with one little car, and people who simply stop their car in the middle of the road or parking lot and decide that this is a good place to park.

Above is a diagram of the parking lot at one of the local grocery stores.  This is how it looks on any given Saturday.  The cars to the left are the closest to the store entrance.  However, they are not parked in parking spaces.

I can usually forgive the first person parked next to the proper parking spaces IF the parking lot is full (I should note that there is more than sufficient parking and I have never actually seen the lot full).  It is the person parked next to them that makes me crazy.  Why?  Because that person is parked DIRECTLY in front of and BLOCKING the entrance to the parking lot from the road.  It is beyond maddening.  I've never once seen a parking ticket given for these infractions.  I don't know if you can get them for improper parking in a private parking lot.  I don't think you can.  But some days, I wish you could.

Pedestrian Traffic

Hey, Pedestrians.  Guess what?!  You are traffic, too.  That's why it's called "foot traffic" or "pedestrian traffic".

Please don't get me wrong, I'm not here to bash any one group of people.  Well...no, that's not technically true.  I'm here to bash the stupid, self-absorbed, and entitled.  Those sorts of people exist among all groups, pedestrians and drivers alike.

Pedestrians often complain about the lack of respect they get from drivers.  As a frequent pedestrian, I make this complaint loudly and often.  In fact, you will probably read many more entries on the lack of courtesy given to pedestrians from drivers than you will vice versa.  However, I have to touch on this today, because someone really got under my skin last night.

I got home from a wonderful evening at 1:30am.  My husband came down to the bus terminal to pick my friend and me up.  After we dropped my friend off, we continued down her street, which is, incidentally, a one way street.  Suddenly, we came across two girls walking down the middle of the road, in the wrong direction on a one way street.  They were, essentially, deliberately walking into oncoming traffic and making no apparent effort to accomodate said traffic.

Now, if we were in a suburban neighbourhood without sidewalks, this would be entirely acceptable (so long as they were walking at the side of the road).  However, we were in an urban neighbourhood where traffic at 1am is a completely normal occurance.  There were sidewalks.  Two sidewalks, in fact.  There were sidewalks on either side of the street.  I have walked down this street in recent weeks and can tell you that the sidewalks in this particular area are in somewhat better condition than the road.  They were not blocked.  They were clear and open.  It's July, so it isn't even as if there was the excuse of snow blocking the way.  Yet, there they were, walking down the middle of the street as though no car had any business driving there, wearing no reflective clothing.  And if they'd been hit by a driver who did not see them until too late?  How come that would have been the driver's fault?

If it had ended with those two girls, I might have chalked the experience up to two entitled teens, which would hardly make this blog.  It did not.  Not a minute later, we had to avoid a runner.  She had her headphones in and she was running.  Down the middle of the street.  At 1:30am.  Again, no reflective clothing and no apparent concern for her safety or for the fact that roads are made for cars and sidewalks for pedestrians.

So, dear pedestrians, if a sidewalk is available to you, please use it.  It makes the lives of careful drivers much easier and will certainly save your life from the careless ones.